Grown Up

Guess I’m scared to be a grown up even that I am
Afraid to take responsible, More than I can
Scared to Develop emotion, feeling that could hurt
Hurt you for nothing and more than it should
Wake up early morning and go to different college
Work your ass off and not get what you deserve
An underpaid salary just to meet the ends
Gotta appreciate what I have, I have made amends
With myself even thought I doubt myself
But I’m living off of what I made don’t need no one’s help.

Don’t know why I get so lonely even with rooms of people
They talk too much, I don’t understand, its all clitter-clatter
I get anxious all of a sudden, I feel like I should die
Who am I talking to? Myself? From whom I can’t even hide
A figure of hate and regret whom her parent don’t even trust
Forget the haters from other side, push me with a thrust
My heartbeats so hard sometimes I just want it to stop
I distant myself with people cuz I don’t want em hurt
A rush of senses I could feel, aims like a poison dart. 


I’m a human too you know, I am living being
Why am I so low all time like I’m disappearing?
That’s right I hope everything just disappear
I want my damn self to disappear
Let’s see if how much I can endure how much I can survive
Before I trap myself in me, before I cut my life
 

Suddenly I feel so dramatic I feel like a lunatic
Maybe that’s who I am, consequence of my suffering
I thought I had made amends of what I am becoming
I’m scared of what I’ve made so far, wanna leave and start running
I divided myself into pieces, I aged more than myself
I don’t wanna live like this, Stop being a Grown up.

#Kriti
#GrownUp
#2017
 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Teenage Died

You gotta tell me right I gotta prove me wrong.                                            Everything I’ve been though It is in this song I always tried to be best for you I tried to do it right But no day passed through unless we fight I always tried to be nice in other human sight Unleash their harsh word, but for you I gotta smile Sacrificing every dream, I see Cuz we could not afford it Having no choice to be, my dreams I just lost it Disappointment on their face No matter how I try Their word so keenly sharp Every time I die a little inside Cuz I am hasty I am out of worn I feel responsible Because I was born Tears did not matter to you So told me not to cry Depression got the best of me That is how my teen age died On the...
Read more

Through It.

Lot of days I'm frustrated and I'm wishing to die.. . I'm crying so hard my eyes have dried... It never stops..the fight never ends.. I don't know I'm through or I'm just used to it... You say ''you look like you' ve been through a lot'' I'm just like''nah!! last night i just didn't sleep enough'' what's your trouble? why the rush? they'll hear you, can you hush??  I'm wishing I'm praying these days would end, night of glory,colorful blend of air of sweetness that fill my lungs with glaze that a will see myself with fond. I'll tattoo my tongue,I'll bleed in my chest... have mercy on me god, i feel helpless... I avoid my home cuz it don't feel like home... the fortress i built turned into tomb... Battles were fought and wars were lost, Alongside with sadness and love that was forced... Though I'm crying with a smile on my face... I'm hoping this life will see through those days... ...
Read more

A Girl

Here to a girl who stays up all night She is here, she is right beside. She compares and differentiate her world with some fear inside She holds on to her self-esteem and her pride cuz that’s all she has Separates herself from the world Dead compassion her secret world Has no one and cry's alone “I don't give a fuck” her attitude She crumbles down but no one knows Sympathize bunch of relate-able “relate-able” No happiness but bearable She didn't like to show her tears, She held it in, in front of her and all of them, She has a sharp pain piercing through her heart, Sometimes even hard time to breath in and out, Her head feel like its gonna burst though the pain, But she refuse to take any medications Her demon woke to deal this crisis She cut her wrist, on daily basis She laughed so hard like a lunatic She fell so hard pathetically... like a heartless bitch She cried for help but no one heard She loathed her own reflection ...
Read more